Grell Reads 50 Shades of Grey (Part 1)

Before I start this I know I have been promising this for ages but in the last two weeks I have only managed to get to page 11 and I cant take any more! You should all count yourselves dead lucky that I didnt put my death scythe through the book. I'll skip ahead to the more naughty bits later when I feel like punishing myself again.

As you all know I'm a bit of a fan of literature so that book made me want to cry myself to DEATH within a few pages. I shall write my problems with this book in a list, because I feel like I should be like my man and write everything in adorable bullet points because writing about books is a serious matter, well when they are this chronic it is serious.

• The story is about Mr Grey and Miss Steele. Clearly the author looked up gray in the thesaurus and decided to use every term for the colour that they possibly could. We should do a head count that something gray is mentioned.
• The lead character is boring and apparently her friend is more interesting and prettier than she is. Why not write about her friend instead? 
• Ohh~ This is a big thing that gave me a headache, she got in a lift in the first chapter and it took her UP to the 20th floor with "terminal velocity". That is something that happens when you're falling DOWN. How did it take her up? I'm no expert but I saw the movie Terminal Velocity and I checked wikipedia and there is a lot things about falling in both, and yes it did bother me enough to go look it up to check. I'm a grim reaper after all, I know what makes people go splat when they hit the floor. Physics is dead in the world of this novel. 
• I dont see why the character's thoughts need to be voiced, especially if they are as eloquent as "Wow" and that is all.

So those are my notes from my first reading of it. If I manage another I'll post up my views. Will must think I have lost the plot googling things that I'm reading about and not looking very happy. He'll be wanting me back to reading Shakespeare again. At least when I read the Bard I look much happier & I recite the love scenes to him.